Joining GoonWaffe 101

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Before You Begin:
Determine which process you need to follow.
A. If you have never had a forums account before (or you had one 8+ years ago and you are sure it was purged), follow Process A - New Members.
  1. Follow Process A-1 if you are a Something Awful Forum Goon.
  2. Follow Process A-2 if you are being sponsored by someone cool.
B. If you were a member of Goonwaffe who has had their membership set to Vacationer or Member because of inactivity or not keeping an ESI on file, follow Process B - Returning Members.
C. If you are trying to join Goonwaffe, and have a forums account but do not qualify under B - Returning Members, then please follow Process C - Others.

If you have any problems during the process, note the step you were at and ask for help in the in-game channel GS_Help.

If you'd prefer out of game assistance, please email with a detailed description of the problem. Please include your forums account name as well as your SomethingAwful account name and/or sponsor if applicable.


GoonWaffe is NOT a publicly recruiting corporation.

We are all members of the Something Awful forums, or well-known friends of someone who is a member. To join GoonWaffe you MUST be a member of the Something Awful forums and have been an active poster for at least 3 months (this means you frequently post on not that you just have an account). If you consider yourself a "lurker" we do not want you, go away. Your alternative is that you must have a sponsor who is a GoonWaffe member of good standing who is willing to vouch for you, meets the above requirement, and has been a member of GoonWaffe for 30 days. If you do not meet the above requirements then you cannot join.

Process A-1: First-Time SA Member Applications

For those applying on the basis of a Something Awful account:

  1. Send an email to with the subject line "New Member Application". The email should identify:
    1. The name of your Something Awful forums account;
    2. The names of all of your EVE Online pilots. Not just the ones which will become members of GoonWaffe, all of them.
    3. The name of the first pilot you want in. WARNING: The name of the first pilot that joins will become your forums account name. That account name will be used for all of our services (jabber, mumble, forums). There is no way to change this name. It will follow you forever. So choose carefully.
  2. You will receive an email reply notifying you that your character has been invited to join in game. Accept the invite in game.
  3. Go to the ESI Management Page and follow the "Newbie Registration" instructions on the right side of the page.

People often have trouble at Step 3 if they try it immediately after accepting the invite in game. It can take up to two hours for our systems to detect that you have joined so if you have trouble at first, try waiting a while before trying again. If problems persist send an email to saying that you are having a problem.

DO NOT MAKE A SECOND FORUMS ACCOUNT. There is no valid reason to do so. It is considered goonfucking and will be dealt with on that basis.

Process A-2: For Those Blessed with a Sponsorship

For those who are being sponsored in:

  1. Have someone willing to sponsor you into Goonwaffe. This person cannot themselves be sponsored. They must have been in Goonwaffe longer than 90 days.
  2. Understand that you are tied to your sponsor and your sponsor is tied to you. If your sponsor gets kicked, you might be kicked too. The reverse is also true, if you fuck up, your sponsor will be held liable.
  3. Have your sponsor make a post in the vouch thread on GSF forums.
  4. Have your sponsor send a message to the Goonwaffe Auth director (currently: Maneck StreetPreacher) using Jabber. They should note the sponsorship key and your in game pilot's name.
  5. Send an email to []( with the subject line" New Sponsored Application". The email should identify:
    1. The forums account name of your sponsor.
    2. The names of all of your EVE Online pilots. Not just the ones which will become members of GoonWaffe, all of them.
    3. The name of the first pilot you want in. WARNING: If you didn't already have a account, the name of the first pilot that joins will become your forums account name. That account name will be used for all of our services (jabber, mumble, forums). There is no easy way to change this name. It will follow you forever. So choose carefully.
  6. You will receive an email reply notifying you that your character has been invited to join in game. Accept the invite in game.
  7. Go to the [ESI Management Page]( and follow the "Newbie Registration" instructions on the right side of the page. If you already had an account, refer to Process B, point 6.

Process B: For Returning Members

This is for people who were previous members of Goonwaffe. You still have an active forums account, but your account status has been set to either "Vacationers" or "Members" rather than "[GS] Goonfleet" - which is reserved for active members. As a result of this account status change, you have restricted or no access to forums and services.

To start your return, follow these steps:

  1. Add all of the characters that you own to our ESI Management Page. Make sure they are all registered. If you have unregistered characters, we will make you register them so you don't get flagged for removal.
  2. Take a screen capture of your "My Characters" screen within the ESI system. (i.e. taken of the ESI Website). We do not want to see your in game character sheet!)
  3. Send an email to In it, you must:
    1. Identify your Goonfleet account name
    2. Identify your SA name or sponsor
    3. Identify the first pilot you want us to send an invite to
    4. Attach the screen capture noted above.
  4. Await a reply email from telling you that your character has received an invitation in game.
  5. Accept the invitation in game.
  6. Go to the ESI Group Management Page. Follow the instructions. You may have to wait up to two hours for the system to detect that your character has joined Goonwaffe. Don't send an email to about a problem until you have waited two hours after accepting the invite to try this.

Please note, you cannot rejoin Goonwaffe unless you have at least one of the following:

  1. An active SomethingAwful account
  2. A sponsor who is active in Goonwaffe who has a SomethingAwful account or has been naturalized
  3. A special dispensation.
If you had an active sponsor and he's gone, and you cannot locate a new sponsor, there is a process to grant special dispensation - see Process C, below. You had better be good at writing since it will have to be taken to the directorship.

Process C: For Exceptions and Unique Butterflies

Some people have never been in Goonwaffe but nevertheless have a forums account (i.e. allies or people who play other games that share our resources).

If you have a Something Awful account which would qualify you to join Goonwaffe as a newbee, it is very likely an accommodation can be made to allow you to join.

Others were members of Goonwaffe for years under a sponsorship, but their sponsor is now gone. If this describes you, you might qualify for naturalization.

Maybe you have a new sponsor.

Finally, some people have been banned or blacklisted but now wish to return. If you are reasonable, this can often be done.

If any of the above scenarios apply to you, send an email to which explains your predicament. Identify your forums account and include as much information about your difficulty as you can provide.

How To Sponsor

Here is a quick and easy guide to sponsoring:

  1. Go to the [official vouch thread](, read the rules and make a post.
  2. Point your sponsoree to [Joining Goonwaffe 101]( and tell them to follow the process A-2
  3. If your sponsoree is already a member of Goonswarm Federation, they need to tell their corp's Recruitment Director, Full Director, or CEO that they are leaving, where they are going, and make sure they have no outstanding debts. Provide screenshots or logs of the conversation to your sponsor.

Do Not Ever Do These Things

  1. Have more than one forums account. If you have one that already works and attempt to make another one, you'll probably get commissared.
  2. Spend the first 3 months of your EVE life in Horde or GOTG or some other crappy group while you wait for your SA membership to be 90 days old so you can apply to Goonwaffe. This is what terrible, obvious spies do. Aspire to be better.
  3. Attempt to sponsor someone into Goonwaffe when you have been in Goonwaffe for less than 30 days.
  4. PM or otherwise harass an Auth director about getting your character in.
  5. Ask an Auth director why you were rejected without reading the section below.
  6. Attempt to re-apply after a specific amount of time after getting rejected for having an unqualified SA account.


All issues with the auth system are to be addressed via e-mail to Do not, under any circumstances, PM the IT Director with anything auth related directly. We will make the call as to whether or not it requires their attention.

Fucked up sponsorship? Fucked up groups? Need to update your SA account? Did we fuck up and nuke your forums account by mistake in a stoned stupor? These can be fixed.


Everybody is expected to add alts into the auth system as necessary when they apply. Failure to do so will result in your app being rejected.

Why was my app rejected?

Apps are rejected for a few reasons, outlined below starting from most common to least:

  1. By far the most common: You fucked something up. You didn't add all of your characters to ESI, you didn't check the box next to the character, your hambeast fingers plugged in the wrong information. Who knows exactly what it is, but more often than not you fucked something up. Go fix it before you reapply.
  2. Your character has a hostile or otherwise questionable corp history. If you're an existing member adding an alt, this isn't usually a problem because of character sales, etc. However on more than a few occasions new members have applied on characters with very, very solid hostile corp histories.
  3. Your SA account wasn't accepted. Everyone knows the 3 Month/Active SA account "rule." What we would like to make clear is that this is a minimum guideline, and not a solid inflexible line in the sand. Further, the decision to approve or deny a new member based on SA account is a totally subjective decision on our part. If you apply on a 3 month 1 day old account with 170 posts and we reject you, don't point to the 3 month rule. We don't particularly like this, but its just the nature of this game. Also, this doesn't mean we are going to look at your 10 year old SA account with a billion posts and subjectively reject you because we're having a bad day, this is only for people who are on the fence such that we have to read through posting history and whatnot.
  4. Least common, but it does happen. We fucked up. We might miss your character's name on the alts list. Also the accept and reject buttons are really close together and shit does happen. We may or may not notice. In this event, don't panic, check that everything on your side is correct and if it is, you may then email to find out if we fucked up or what.
If your character is not on one of our lists, either the alts list or the new members list then you're getting rejected. DO NOT just think you can apply and sort it out later. Nothing drives us up a wall more than people who just apply because hey we keep track of every single person in our bazillion member corp.

Special Snowflakes

If you think you fall into this category you'd better be damn well sure. Anyone claiming to be a special snowflake that isn't will be set perma-DBRB-only. Are you a supercap pilot that needs help due to your flying coffin? We can help. Do you need a character pushed for a high level alliance function such as logistics or fleet PVP? We might be able to push your character right then.

Things that are not special snowflakes
  1. Your cyno alt.
  2. Your bot army.

I have a problem, what do?

Lastly we would like to cover what NOT to do when dealing with the auth system/directors.

  1. Do NOT send a PM, jabber, forums or otherwise asking to auth your guy. Do your auth app stuff, put your guy in line, and wait. You will be processed when it is processed. God help you if you do this AND you fail to do your auth app stuff.
  2. Do NOT send a PM, jabber, forums or otherwise GRIPING about how we haven't processed your character. If you are a new member doing this, you may find that all the sudden we are much more subjective about your SA account than we might normally be. If you're an existing member you might find that your API was involved in a horrible auth accident and it's now going to take 2 weeks for your auth go through. Tolerance for that bullshit is non-existent both in real life and internet spaceships.
  3. Do NOT reapply if we have rejected you and you haven't figured out why. It's irritating to find someone constantly shitting up the auth line after having rejected them 5 times for the same reason. Sometimes these are people who have been scammed, and that shit is gonna happen. What we are referring to here is existing members who don't add an API and just keep reapplying without changing anything. We rejected you for one of the reasons outlined above. Figure it out, and fix it.
  4. Do NOT use the newbee app if you already have a forums account. This will create you a new forums account which will draw the attention of the powers that be.
  5. Do NOT send an e-mail unless its actually something we need to see. We don't need to know that you've applied on some random dude. If you've done your auth stuff you'll get processed. Also part of this is DO NOT ASK WHY WE REJECTED YOU UNTIL YOU'VE READ EVERY GOD DAMN WORD OF THIS PAGE (twice) AND VERIFIED THAT YOU DID EVERYTHING CORRECTLY (twice). If we reject you, then see a PM 8 seconds later asking why, the answer is going to be because you're probably a moron who lacks the most basic of troubleshooting skills. If you've double checked everything and can't figure it out then by all means ask away. If you're actually stupid then at least you're aware of it but please try to figure it out. Nobody is asking you to do calculus.

What we cannot do for you

  1. We cannot delete an old account or remove old API information. Please see above about having more than one forums account.
  2. We cannot fix, or stick you into any special group except for Goonfleet.
  3. While we can unscrew any forums account to be set back to a regular member, it does strip all secondary access.
  4. We WILL NOT change your forums name unless you meet very specific requirements, listed here.

Still need help?

Send an e-mail to Any e-mail should include a short, to the point description of the problem. It should also include the Forums name, SA Forums name, and the sponsor code if it applies to the situation.