Fireside Chat Transcript 16 May 2k21

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Alright boys and girls, we're gonna get started here in a couple minutes.
I'm gonna refill my coffee and we'll get ready to go.
Once the numbers stabilize.
It looks like I crashed Mumble in my eagerness to smug.
The fuck palace has to get cleaned pretty regularly.
I managed to fuck up and crash myself guys, it's all good.
We're back.
Or I'm back.
Wouldn't you like to know?
Wouldn't you like to know?
I'm not gonna go into any more details about...
It's funny, it started out as a fuck room and then we started spending so much time
in there and after about, I don't know, just invested, I just buy more things for it.
We kept upgrading and it started out as just a fuck room and then it turned into a fuck
palace after probably, I figure, around $8,000 worth of stuff.
It deserves the palace appellation.
It is decadence in depth.
But what happens in there is private and I'm not, you know, I have one but I'm not gonna
talk about any of the things that I do.
It is fun to talk about that stuff though on the Meta Show because, you know, I mean,
fooling around with your girlfriend is nothing special but apparently in Puppy World the
fact that goons like to do drugs, party, and fuck is something that makes the little incel
bitches amongst our enemies very very unhappy because they're busy simping after hot tub
streamers or whatever it is those fedora wearing losers do.
Shrilby, I should say.
Orindis will correct me.
Okay, my voice is a little scratchy today.
I wonder why.
So this is going to be a little bit more of a business oriented fireside.
When I say business oriented we're going to be talking about dotting our I's, crossing
our T's, doubling down, and focusing because things have gone very well in the past couple
of weeks for us and that just makes me paranoid.
If you guys have been through hell wars with me before you know how I roll and I, the nightmare
is to snatch defeat from the gods of victory just because things are currently going our
way and that the enemy is fucking up and making mistakes.
It is all the more important for us to, as much as I might be, you know, screaming at
the puppies on the Meta Show and whatever internally, this is the time where we really
have got to focus and make sure that we are doing even more work to keep these guys out
of this constellation.
I'm going to give you a background on what's been happening for people that might have
missed the festivities in this week and why this is important and what we're going to
be doing.
The enemy has Azbels, I want you to all look at the op ticker on right now.
If for some reason you don't know about the op ticker on, go to
and look at the top of the fucking page.
There's an op ticker, you should all know this by now.
There are Azbel timers, they have been dropping Azbels in our space, we must destroy them.
The reason why we must destroy them is that we do not want to allow the enemy a tether
point for their capitals, we are using our capital advantage.
It is critically important that those of you that are carrier jocks, and most of you now
are carrier jocks, make sure you have the correct fighter load, that you have all of
the fits that you need, including all the drone nav computers that the FCs are calling
Because as you have seen over the course of the last couple of weeks, carriers and supercarriers
are a key part of our defense because bad guys don't like fighters, bad guys aren't
willing to use their capitals, and we're going to use the fuck out of that advantage at every
And as part of that, that also means that you need to make sure that your carriers and
thus your fighters are able to keep up with everybody else's carriers, or their fighters,
and that you're able to perform like everyone else, that your shit isn't lagging behind
So please, please, please, please, please, if you're a carrier jock, ask for help if
you're confused.
Just ask for help in Capsworm, ask for help in your corp, just ask for help.
If you're confused about something, please check it, because I would prefer that you
have a moment of going, "Gosh, I might have something that's wrong."
Make sure that you have it right, get help from your friends in the fucking trenches
next to you, such that we can all be more effective in this defense.
The nightmare is to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
The enemy has lost their momentum.
Today, instead of attacking us, they went up to attack Initiative in Curse.
Yesterday, instead of getting back on the bicycle after they suffered a significant
sub-cap loss on Friday, but it was still a sub-cap loss, yes, yes, they were bombed.
They were bombed harder than anybody has ever been bombed before, but it was still just
a sub-cap loss.
They could have gotten back on the bicycle.
They should have attacked us on Saturday.
They should have attacked us earlier today, but they didn't.
And so that is the enemy compounding their own errors, and that's good.
That's free value for us.
We want them to lose their momentum.
We want them to lose their hope, but we cannot rest on our laurels.
This is not like, I mean, I'm smugging.
We're all happy about it.
High fives all around.
It's great.
But this war is nowhere close to over, even though it appears that momentarily that they
are faltering.
We just may, we've got to dot our I's, cross our T's, focus, focus, focus, focus, work
on your stockpiles.
Make sure all of your ships are correct.
When there isn't a fight, make sure your fittings are correct.
When there isn't a fight, if you're confused about something, ask your friends for help.
There is no shame.
There is no shame in just checking and asking, "Hey, I'm a relatively new carrier fighter,
a carrier pilot," or "Hey, I'm not sure about this, that, or the other thing," because if
your guns are working better, then everybody is going to have a better time defending this
We need to help each other out such that everybody's shit is correct.
If we are able to keep shutting these motherfuckers down in this coming week in the way that we
have been successfully shutting them down in the past couple of weeks, the bad guys
are going to be in real trouble.
But it is on us to fuck up.
And that is why I'm really, really paranoid about this, because that's how I get where
we're getting close to a big momentum shift.
You guys are seeing here how the bad guys, their numbers are bleeding out.
If they lose another 10% of their line member numbers because they've been demoralized because
their line members don't appreciate their incompetent leaders making the same mistakes
over and over again and offering nothing but excuses, but we're close.
We're real close.
And so it's on us to fuck this up.
Do not, do not fuck this up.
Ask each other for help.
Make sure all of your questions are answered to your satisfaction.
Make sure your shit is correct.
And I, uh, this coming week, when you see pings for killing Zazbels and being around,
when you see things on the upticker, be there.
We need to confirm that we have stopped their momentum when dash themselves on our walls.
Because if we get them to a dead stop, like we kind of have them right now, it is going
to be very difficult for them to recover their strategic momentum because they're going to
have to get wins.
The main thing here is to deny these bitches wins by crushing them, crushing their spirits,
crushing their fleets, just doing all the stuff that we have been doing successfully
for the last couple of weeks.
We just have to focus more and make sure we do not fuck it up.
So, I mean, that's the, that's the scared straight speech, but the important thing.
So now that we've, uh, we've talked about that, I can sort of hand out some gold stars.
I am so fucking proud of you motherfuckers.
I am so fucking proud.
We have been doing this shit for almost a year now.
We have been fighting the entire goddamn galaxy, every terrible stereotype about NullSec, Blue
Donut, Crabbers, Whiners, Botters, Renters.
That's that's who PissBee is.
That's that's literally because that's the rest of NullSec.
They are the stereotype we have been fought, but there's, it's the entire galaxy worth
of them.
And we have been fighting these bitches for almost a fucking year now.
And this last week has made me just so proud, so proud because we have been through hell
together that these pieces of shit have tried to put us through this hell and have put us
through this hell.
And instead of breaking, we have grown stronger.
We have grown closer together and we have grown harder and colder and more vengeful.
And that, that, that time is coming.
That time is coming, but it's not here yet.
I don't want you guys, unlike, unlike Vili or any of these other excuse makers, I'm not
going to get up in front of you and say, Oh, well, it's going to take another three to
eight more months or whatever.
War is a fluid situation.
Events occur.
Black Swan events occur.
Sometimes lightning strikes, sometimes Pando, Alice and Dark Shines strike, and then things
go faster or things go slower.
So right now, what we've seen here after Friday is that the success that we have had has accelerated
timelines a little bit, and it does look like the enemy is losing momentum.
And it is a delight to get to this point, but I'm not going to tell you that I know
when this is going to end.
It ends when their spirit is crushed.
It ends when they don't want it anymore.
It ends when they are broken and then our fun begins.
I don't know about you guys, but in this last year, I've spent a lot of time thinking about
what we're going to do to these people once we get to the other side of the pivot point.
Once we've seen them off, then the funnel begin.
I have a lot of ideas.
I have a lot of wonderful things to show them, but we can't get there unless we really work
to make certain that they are shut down and broken in these next couple of weeks.
So hey, yeah, they've been putting lots of asbells down.
Yeah, maybe another asbell kill isn't the most exciting thing in the world.
It's actually pretty exciting because this is we're starting to get to the really fun
bit of a hell war.
This is the kind of hell war stuff that the really entertaining bit.
If you got if you if you answered the horn of fucking Goondor, if you're old school,
you know what's coming next.
You you know, the kill frenzy spam, you know.
Oh, and for those of you are none of your summer children anymore, you have all been
blooded in a proper fucking hell or but those of you that have never seen an old school
hell war revenge.
Oh man, oh man, you guys are going to you're going to have a lot of fun.
It's good.
It's good.
But eyes on the prize eyes on the prize.
We cannot get to the purging and the killing and the kill frenzy and the vengeance and
the destruction and the screams and the screeching of our despised cowardly foe.
We can't get there unless we dot our eyes and cross our T's.
Believe me, I want to jump to the smug.
Believe me, I want to get to just ha ha ha.
You know, you're screwed and you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
But we cannot snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
We must hold the line.
We must man the walls.
We must destroy these as bells.
We must increase our stockpiles.
We must check our war gear.
We must ask questions of each other such that all of our weaponry is at maximum efficiency.
The puppies are pulling out all of the stops because they are faltered and they know it.
When I say that they're pulling out all the stops, they actually had a very clever plan
that we successfully saw off on Friday.
And I want to go over this because it's been sort of obscured by the amazing, amazing,
amazing, historic, world class history making bombing runs that Pantano and Alice and shines
have been pulling off.
Everyone on those bomber crews, by the way, I want to get you guys a special forum title,
kind of like the Valhalla writers, like you guys did something history making.
And so I don't know how we're going to inventory that.
But if we can make sure that find out everybody who was involved in those runs and get them
a fucking medal, you guys have beyond earned it.
But let's talk about what they tried this week.
They had a clever plan.
And we need to be aware of this whenever there's going to be a European long weekend when the
US does not have a long weekend.
They know that they can't get through our defenses easily in US time zone.
So they waited for this weekend where the Europeans had a long weekend.
They had Thursday off.
The Americans did not.
They timed their sneak attack for midnight eve on Friday.
And what that meant was, is that their Europeans could stay up late to support their USTZ people
or just try to get in there and do whatever.
While a lot of our USTZ guys were still at work.
And they called up puppies that we have never seen in months in this war.
There was a fleet from FedUp.
They called fire in.
They called Winter Coalition in, though I don't think WC actually made it.
They sent pings about it.
They scraped every single fucking puppy they could find out of the 103 alliances that they
started this war blew to, to come to try to do the surprise attack.
And we saw it off.
And before lightning struck before Pando Alice and just all of it just zonked them off the
I was extremely happy to take a 30 billion isk loss on the isk war to see off that attack
because that was a full constellation press.
It was a clever plan on their part because they were leveraging a time zone advantage
to try to get one up on our USTZ.
You guys rushed home when you saw the screaming pings, you rushed home.
Those of you that were US time zone, you got there.
Init bought us time by holding the ground while we were sort of, you know, we were,
I mean, the truth is that we were kind of scrambling there to begin with.
We had that Eagle fleet situation and init sacrificed a battleship fleet to buy us time.
And I'm very, very thankful that they did.
I think we would have been fine regardless one way or the other.
But you know, when you see your allies get out in front and tank multiple fleets to buy
the time for the rest of us, that that is what the Imperium is about.
Our enemies have been spending all this time talking about how we are going to stop being
allies, how we're going to break apart because they assumed that they would do that because
they thought that we were like them.
I have never been so proud.
Just think of the accomplishment that you have all participated in thus far.
We're not even done yet.
And we've been doing this for almost a year, holding out against the entire fucking galaxy.
That is an astounding achievement.
That is something that has never happened in the history of online gaming.
This war is going to be researched by academics.
Creepily enough, there are a lot of people who write their theses on fucking EVE Online
and the shit that we do here.
This war is going to be studied.
This is in many ways an impossible war.
We're fighting the entire galaxy for almost a year now.
And it'll be a year and it'll be then some because the enemy doesn't get to say when
the war ends.
We get to say when the war ends and we're not going to be done until we're done.
And that might take a while.
And I think that's going to be a lot of fun.
I'm looking forward to it.
But we got to get there.
That's why we got to do traditional old school disciplined.
Dot the I's cross the T's.
Don't let them in.
If you see us forming earlier for a time or you get in the fucking fleet, you see carriers
and super performing, you get in the fucking fleet.
You see an ADM fleet, you get in the fucking fleet.
We cannot allow the fun, which we will soon be having to be sacrificed by hubris.
No hubris.
The path to victory lies on a continuum between no hubris and no not believe it.
And so stay there.
We're almost there, boys and girls.
We're almost fucking there.
And for those of you that haven't seen it weren't if you're if you're a summer, you
weren't none of you again, none of your summer child children at the start of this world.
We had some summer children by now you are all well and truly blooded.
But the fun stuff, the fun stuff, the stuff that the old school guys who responded to
the horn and came back the stuff that they wanted, the stuff that they expected that
is soon to be at hand.
If we do our job correctly, and oh, it's wonderful.
We're going to show these motherfuckers how evil online can actually be played.
Because these summer children puppies that we have been fighting, they seem to think
that even line is some fucking hug box.
They spend all this time talking about goons are bad goons are bad goons are bad.
They have forgotten what the Great War was like.
Many of them were never around.
They've never seen anything that can be done in this game played to its maximum, because
they're too busy playing sandbox police.
They don't want people to play with sandbox in ways that they don't like.
But oh, yeah, goons are bad.
Goons are bad.
Oh, they've seen nothing yet.
All right.
Let me take some questions because our finances are looking good.
Our bond rating is going up.
I think confidence in our war bonds is only increasing after recent events.
Fish update.
The nice thing about the fish is once we got plants in the so we've got duckweed and moss
in the fish tanks because I haven't really been thinking about the fish that much this
last month.
Like they're doing good.
No real updates there.
But the tanks are able to go for a longer period of time.
I've got crystal clear water on them.
And that's good because I'm spending more honestly, I'm spending way more time thinking
about the fuck palace than I am about the fish at the moment.
I just need like a month to really get that out of my system.
I'm not ever really going to get that on my system.
So if goons are bad, why would that be a bad thing?
You know, I want to tell you guys a story.
Old school, old school shit at the start of the war, started the Great War.
This is back in like 2006 remedial who founded goon fleet gave a speech and, you know, remedial
was remedial.
He stole the Titan fund and went fuck goons and first name, last name sent vaxes of his
penis to his law office care of come Lord.
And that's just one of the guinness fucking things I've ever seen.
Some of the reasons why these school children, puppies in 2021 are talking about goons, this
goons that and they have no fucking idea what they've unleashed here.
Remedial gave a speech and he was a great guy.
He was fucking great at speeches.
Wasn't a great guy, but it's great to give him speeches.
And he had this line and make the puppies really fucking mad if they heard it today.
Because we were we were young at the time.
We didn't have any skill points for a bunch of goons and syndicate.
As you ate a four, oh, gee, straight out of syndicate motherfuckers.
And then the entire galaxy ganged up on us, which would be the pattern of our history
forever is all the fucking puppies get together.
The reason why they hate us, I think, is genuinely is not because of anything in particular that
we do.
It's because we're playing with our friends and we don't give a shit what they think.
And the one thing that marks a puppy is that they all sit around in their little echo chambers
on their discords and they give a shit what they think.
Like, you know, if Progod calls me a bitch, I think it's awesome because it means that
he's angry that he's trying to come at me.
And I want him angry.
I want him.
I want him unhappy.
That makes me happy.
But they care what each other thinks.
And goons have goons have only really cared what our people and our friends think.
Like our people deserve the best.
Fuck all these puppies.
So the entire galaxy had ganged up against us to come beat up on the newbies and syndicate
and remedial gave a speech.
And the defining line and this sticks in my head a lot is our enemies are bullies, but
we are monsters and monsters eat bullies.
Now maybe in 2021 and say, oh, we're monsters.
Oh, that's scary.
But that was the online back then.
And that's the people who responded to the horn.
The great war crew, old school hell or something else.
These guys want to talk about, you know, I was we were in a meeting earlier and I was
getting informed by Apple pair that matter all has apparently been telling people that
he's going to be doing like a psycho analysis of me is like a recurring thing, analyzing
the fireside chats and stuff like that.
Apparently he's done a couple of these things on crying in stations.
I haven't listened to any of them because I don't give a shit.
I don't I don't watch crying in stations.
I don't listen to it.
It doesn't matter to me.
And that fact, I think the fact that we are comfortable with conflict, the fact that we
are comfortable with saying, fuck you to the entire galaxy, the fact that we want to do
our own thing is deeply threatening to these very insecure puppies that want to have their
little cowards consensus of how the sandbox game should be played.
So be careful what you wish for.
And in the case of all of PISP, they wanted to fight a hell war against all of goons to
get rid of us.
Now we're here and most of the weaknesses in our organization have been sandblasted
away after a year of this.
And we're still here.
We have more Titans than them than when we started the war because we killed a whole
bunch of their Titans.
And the fun is only just beginning.
No more Mr. Nice Goon.
There's no reason for us to bother with any of anything that they want or care about.
They've already declared hell war on us.
They've already declared a war of extermination on us.
They're already calling us Hitler.
They're already calling us toxic and bad for the game.
They're already analyzing our toxic masculinity as if I give a fuck what any motherfucker
on crying in stations thinks about anything as long as they're angry because fuck them.
A year of this.
It's going to be our turn soon.
And I have such wonderful, wonderful things to show the rest of the fucking galaxy.
Our people deserve the best and our people deserve their fucking vengeance and we will
have it.
We will have our screams.
We will show them what happens when you truly fuck with the Imperium.
No mercy, no mercy.
We have a lot of work to do.
Let's get back out there.
Turn up to those fucking as Bell timers.
You watch the fucking opticker.
You ask each other the questions.
You make sure that your friends, if they seem to have something wrong, you ask them and
you be nice to them.
You be nice to each other.
You be nice to your brothers and sisters in the trenches and you save all the spite and
all of the rage and all the frustration in your hearts for our enemies.
Help each other out.
Make sure your war gear is good.
We're almost there, boys and girls.
Let's not fuck it up.
Get back out there.
Get to work.