Fireside Chat Transcript 1 Feb 2k20

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to watch I'm gonna say we don't actually have that much to talk about we've got like three big points and then we're going to
fucking war
But because all the points we're gonna be making are critically important to an involved war
I want to make sure we have everybody here before I hear fall these blurfs and
You're gonna be hearing not just for me today
You're probably gonna be here. You're definitely hearing from Asher and you're going to be hearing from a nominated possibly as well
Because we're gonna be talking about certain things that are beyond my comprehension ie anything involving IT technology computer machine
As everybody who's ever had to deal with me in the directorate or in the Kremlin knows I am absolutely helpless when it comes to
things that do not involve humans politics schmoozing
manipulation scheming
Power networking all the usual Mitani stuff. I can't computer my way out of a paper fucking back
So when we talk about the DDoS stuff we have some of our top people who are experts in the field that will be top
Men top men as it were the very topest of top men
And I hope you motherfuckers like
Losing a battleship fleet. We wouldn't actually we don't have to lose the battleship fleet every day
But we're definitely gonna have the fight and I want to see
Potentially losing a battleship every fucking day
Yeah, I don't even know how you would computer your way of a paper bag because I presumably I know so little about how computers
Work from like a technical perspective that I wouldn't know if they're in a paper bag or not
I would be confused either way if I found a computer in a paper bag, it's hard out there
You got to put them in a paper bag so the popo don't pull you over. Ah
All right, ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna go ahead and get started here
So first things first I'm gonna talk about the Jeff deployment the Jif deployment the hefe deployment
Which is of course a
Not official war deployment. It is a sig or a squad
It is a macro level sig and squad with a full backing of the Alliance
And we have come up with some really cool new doctrines and we're gonna be using them very aggressively in the Northwest
We're not really too worried about how this war goes
I don't think that the bad guys are gonna be pushing too much past like Tino or maybe branch anyway
I don't feel like the Imperium is under any real threat in any capacity
But we want to have some spaceship violence
We're gonna mash some spaceships together and get some shit fucked up and our guys have put together this really badass typhoon doctrine
That is just dirt fucking cheap. Like if the typhoons kill even a couple of basilisks on their way out
We're gonna pretty much win the ISK war no matter what it's it's really cool. It's exciting
We rarely get to use typhoons as a doctrine ship
So I'm super pumped to not only see us using them
But I'm also looking forward to us losing them and not giving a fuck because we're gonna win the ISK war almost every single time
And we'll train up our dudes
We'll make sure that our new FCs have an opportunity to get some blood on their hands in adverse conditions
One of the things and Asher's gonna be talking about this in a moment
That makes the Imperium different is that even though we do have
Overwhelming hegemonic power we have the most Titans. We have the most ISK. We have all this stuff
We are constantly doing the Sig and the squad deployments because we want to train our people in the most adverse conditions possible
Right, like we don't want your we don't want our FCs to be used to having a couple thousand Titans backing them all the time
Because then they don't really know how to fight on their back foot. They don't know how to deal with losing fights
They don't know what it's like to be outnumbered outgunned and in really shitty conditions
So when we're doing these Sig and squad things people learn how to fight when it's hard when it's nasty when you don't have every
Advantage and so then when shit gets real and we do bring this couple thousand Titans to the table
you know, we just have a lot more power and effectiveness and you don't end up with like garbage tier FCs like
What we see in a lot of the NC dot guys these days
Asher has a really cool boxing analogy involving a hammer here and actually, you know, Asher
Why don't you why don't you just take it away? You uh, talk to us a bit. What are we doing? Yeah
I was telling mittens earlier. I think one of the reasons why
Kings have much better FCs then for instance NC dot is because we often put ourselves in adverse conditions
Going back to the hackerman in deployment where we went to into a sort of similar situation where we we went under their super cap umbrella
We have had all kinds of deployments if you look at something like NC dot
They have never left the comfort of their super cap umbrella, which is you know, that's fine
I mean you can do what you want, but
Yeah, I say it's kind of like a boxer who has a hammer taped to his back
Anytime things start getting rough
You never need to dig deep. You never need to get to find out who you are
You never have to come up and innovate anything
You just pull the hammer out and you hit them over the head and you win the fight and that's why I people don't develop
It's the same reason that we like to put ourselves in tough situations
Because it you know, it shows
Character it shows what you're made of it helps people become better line members better FCs
and to me, it's more fun to go into a situation where you
It were any win you get is because you earned it. It's not because
You know someone else built a Titan and then another person built a Titan and you just have the most Titans
It's because you did something better like to me that is that is like sort of the ultimate than Eve online
it's the most fun and
So we voluntarily put ourselves in that situation
And what's gonna be fun about this is
Even if you know, we like they drop a super complete on us and we just jet out of there and sort of say hey
Good job. You drop supers like to me that that is highly enjoyable
For them it won't be fun at all. I don't think I think when you know that you're you're the one like being the hammer
It's a lot less enjoyable to punch downward. So
I'm really excited about Jeff. I'm really excited about what we're gonna do
I'm really excited about some of you guys who've never experienced it before you're gonna get to learn sort of a new way and
Maybe for you it will it will be
Interesting to see there will be some people who won't be able to handle it. They they joined on the wrong pretenses
They don't realize that goons have been the underdog for 15 years
And we'll continue to put ourselves in that situation and but for a lot of you you're gonna have a lot of fun
So I'm looking forward to deploying with you guys
Yeah, I'm really pumped about this like at a certain level
We are a lot of times words will happen in Eve and you don't just get to go
You know what? Let's just let's just take a fight every single fucking day with a battleship fleet like, you know when things are more
Intense when you are under serious threat at home, you have to take things very seriously
And in this case, it's somebody else's war
Almost everybody involved in this shit in the Northwest is a bunch of people that don't really like one way or another
So, you know fuck up. Let's throw some typhoons around. We've got the money. We want to play some Eve
let's mash some fucking spaceships together and
See what happens. So I'm
Sort of segueing on from that we're gonna be deploying right after the fireside and
headed up north and
I was really happy to see that we have a couple of designs for new bees
For the Jeff and if we could get those posted in a lease him for people to see
These are not
the only is we want to I think it's a really good sign when
People actually like when I see our guys getting creative and like when we're like we're gonna do this thing
We're gonna make this new thing. And when I see goons going out of the way to like make fucking bees
I'm like, oh man, you know
We're in sync with our people and our hearts are in the right place and like, you know
When you see our guys and our girls get creative about stuff and like engage and you know
So when I see nice new B designs, I'm like, hmm. All right, so let's actually get that linked in Elysium
So there we go. Tuzzy's got one
And John Harley linked the other one
Yeah, and we're not you know
There is no restriction. You guys can make your own Jeff bees. I
Would encourage people to do that. I think these are both really cool. They both have
Gimmicks associated with them and high fives all around and so, you know go nuts
We're gonna be matching typhoon fleets into bad guys. Sometimes we'll win stuff. Sometimes we'll lose stuff who gives a fuck. We've got some bees
And we're going north. So fuck. Yeah
Now for the downer bit I
am obviously super fucking fired up about this which is cool because I love getting super fired up about
Even like spaceships and war and murder and death and power and conquest and you know the scheming and the finer things in life
There was a
Discussion about whether we should do this today. There was a debate about whether we should make the deployment
We've been planning this for a bit now and one of the challenges we have is that the our European players by and large can log
on a lot of Americans cannot log on and the servers like the weather in Eve is really bad because
The DDoS stuff that's going on, but we're deploying anyway, because I
at this point if we have to sit on our asses and wait for CCP to like figure out how to do the same thing that
Every other fucking game company in the world has managed to do including ourselves
We're not a game company, but I'll get to this in a bit with the x47 stuff. I will be waiting forever
So yeah, this DDoS attack is happening. Yeah, it sucks. We're gonna be talking about the mechanics of that momentarily
but we're deploying anyway, and
If we lose some typhoon fleets in some stupid DDoS lag, I don't give a shit because they're typhoon fleets. Fuck it
Let's talk about
this whole
Anomaly, can you just kind of explain to people who might be like me and be terrible with actual like computers and stuff?
What the hell is going on? Why has it been going on for so long? Why hasn't it been fixed? And what does it mean?
The internet is a pretty
Rough place in general and DDoS has been a thing for a long time now
And I think every business pretty much has to deal with it at some point
It really is easy enough that you know
one person with a little bit of money can contract out to some criminals out of China and fire off a DDoS attack and
Like most good ISPs have
Protection for this stuff. We have protection for this stuff
one particularly interesting event happened during
X-47 during X-40 actually the night before we actually got a notification
From our hosting provider that we were being DDoS and that for about a half an hour
Kind of gave us a warning of what we could expect the next day
But we didn't really know how it was gonna turn out just that we saw it coming
so mid fight suddenly
Mumble started to get a little bit robody voice quality went way down
We could still understand each other but check my email and oh, yes, of course
Another notification from our ISP saying yep. We are definitely getting DDoS again
So I think they kept that going for about 15-20 minutes
Little bit awkward and a little bit difficult to understand each other on mumble, but everything was working
So then they stopped and next thing people couldn't log into the game anymore
Turns out that the same people DDoSing whoever was DDoSing us realized it wasn't doing any good
so they hit the CCP login server instead and killed it completely and like I
Just I don't know what this is when you have a
company the size of CCP
That utterly depends their business depends on their game being available
And like they don't have I don't know what they're using for DDoS mitigation. They're using something clearly, but it's also clearly not working
There are a lot of people who can't connect and it's been going on for what a week now. It's ridiculous
It's it's one thing if it take if you have a bad mitigation to start with but as things go
like you should be continuing to improve that and
eventually you get the DDoS mitigation down to the point where it's not really affecting you anymore and
That's when the DDoS stops because the person who's doing the DDoS is only going to keep it going as long as it's having an effect
But the way that we're looking at the way that things are going it looks like CCP hasn't been able to do that
and as long as the DDoS is
Successfully keeping the game, you know, at least largely non-functional
Why would they stop?
Yeah, it's a
It just raises a bunch of really ugly questions
I mean
It's the year of our Lord 2020 like we ourselves have had like DDoS mitigation
Strategies in place that have been effective since the Great War which started
14 years ago. Yeah 14 years ago. I'm seeing a comment in Elysium about this not being a DDoS attack
it's like
CCP said on one of the first days that this was a DDoS attack
They have yeah, they have been switched to saying connectivity issues, which that's actually the right thing
When they said it was a DDoS attack that was wrong as soon as they publicly acknowledged the DDoS
Like that that is what the guy who is doing this wants to hear like that is perfect
You know going back to the x47 analogy and when we did it then
We didn't talk about the DDoS like it. This is the first time I think we've ever publicly discussed us
I think it might be like because when you get DDoS the last thing you do is give the person who is doing it
any kind of attention
It's just it's just bad. It's it's the whole thing is just weirdly unprofessional for a game company
Cuz like that, you know this sort of thing happens all the time
It's really rare to have this happening for like a fucking week now
So, you know, whatever
Please answer the poll another another thing that was brought up in Elysium
VPN if you have a VPN with any kind of any of the VPN companies that let you click choose your location
you might want to try a bunch of different ones because
It does seem very geographical where some people are able to connect and some people are not
And my mouth is full of English muffin
I got so fired up about deployment and all the other shit that's going on that I kind of like forgot to eat earlier and
Everyone at home. I don't want to collapse in the middle of the fireside
Mayfoon me food, whatever the
The reason that most DDoS attacks don't last that long is that once the mitigations are put up the people stop because why would you?
Continue at that point
That's my fucking alliance right there if I'm talking about my mouth being full during a fireside chat
I am proud to see that everybody is going for a whole bunch of like dick jokes and shit like that
I love getting sore. Hell. Yeah, I
never want to get to a point where we're like a fireside chat and people are like
Hesitant or afraid to like burn me when I toss a softball over a fucking plate like that
You know, he says that in public but in private if we don't call them Tommy we get demoted
And what's called a mittens I got to run at the 28th best I've seen the imperial set
princess Abby the helpdesk link like a few lines above you says otherwise the
It is perfectly okay to use a VPN just as long as you're not using it to either
Avoid bands or whatever. But yes, it is possible that that will
Flag you as being associated with somebody else unintentionally
But like that's the help the helpdesk article covers that
Yeah, one of the things that's sort of weird about this DDoS thing is that you know
even like outside of nullsec just all the Eve player base is
You know, there's a lot of IT professionals, right?
And also your average Eve player just knows a shitload about how all of this stuff works
many of them do it professionally and so like this is like
like the situation we're in is so weird because it just seems like it's the most
basic kind of thing and even like the most random high-sec minor puppy guy is
Probably like a sysadmin somewhere and like knows how to
Deal with this kind of scenario
And it's been a week now and just what the fuck
Okay, I don't want to go on to the DDoS thing for too long
But please answer the survey so we understand this and a nominate is I think we've sort of answered most of the questions regarding that
So, let's take some questions, let me take a look at this any
First deployment any cultural things I should be aware of outside of our traditional underdog status
Mashed ripe leaves into bad guys. That's a great question, actually
Go for it. I sure know cultural things fantastic. Let's talk about putting money in the bank
there's gonna be a lot of a lot of opportunities for us to go out and shoot a structure shoot this shoot that and
Some people like who don't like on deployments maybe you're just showing up getting a fight going home
On these kind of things you got to put money in the bank
You have to make a deposit which is shooting something to get them to come and shoot you at a later date
So you'll be hearing this piece a lot, but it's a good thing to know about putting money in the bank
You make your withdrawal later
That's basically the whole thing
About deployments is put money in the bank by shooting structures by going out on the quote-unquote boring fleets
to get the fun ones if you don't do the boring fleets, you can't have the fun ones and
I don't intend for them to be boring if your FCS are being boring. They're letting you down
Find FC that that works for you. Some FCS are super chill. Let me throw out the Apple pair example
He's when I always say Apple pair you want to go on a fleet and shoot some structures
Well, listen to some Netflix and not hear a bunch of chatter
He's a great fleet for you. You want to go on a fleet where we're talking about the dumbest shit possible
Come on one of my fleets
They're all different like on my feet. You're gonna hear about which Steven Seagal song
He talks about loving the Poonamian on Apple Paris fleet
You're gonna watch a Netflix documentary or whatever it is. You like to do with your own time
So get get an FC that fits you
That's like that's that's part of the deployment is is finding out what kind of fleets work for you
Now obviously for the big fights just show up. Whoever's one of those we want everyone there
Hell yeah
Let's take some more question. I answered the 40k thing earlier for people that care
I'm also playing a necromunda campaign as of Sunday. It's pretty cool
Will there be a second move off for those that can't make the move now do to come there'll be at least there yes
Expect frustration. We're gonna fight through it anyway
Yeah, we're gonna try to we're gonna do it where we know we're deploying into a hurricane of stupid server
bullshit that is incompetent that we shouldn't have to deal with if it was even a
minimum level ofessional
We don't want to leave anyone behind. Yeah
We're more upset about this than you are. We just you know, it's just the bird forced to make a choice here, unfortunately
Have has CCB given me a special ship. Hey, I
I will be around on all of like I
Haven't been able to fucking log in like for the last year days. No, I mean like I want
Yeah, sorry obvious mittens doesn't log in joke
the secret is that of course I
actually like regularly have to log in like move money around like do like administrative bullshit and like sort of overseas stuff and
You know, it's one of those things where I most of the time I spend my time in the metagame
I'm doing all the politics stuff all the scheming all the like the leadership stuff and you know doing my thing and
I don't really necessarily need to log into the game on a daily basis
But the fact that I cannot the fact that I have been
Prevented by an external force from being able to do that drives me fucking crazy
like, you know, it's like
It's like being snowed in when you don't want to be it's like well
Maybe I would just sit on my ass and jack off all day
But I would like to go outside and I can't so fuck you and that's sort of how I feel about
About the the Eve situation right now. So I am quite frustrated. I am in Wisconsin
I cannot log on it is making me really fucking twitchy
I was thinking about not saying anything because I wasn't really like well
I want to like let everybody know that I can't log into Eve because that opens us up to certain vulnerabilities
But I don't want to be like yeah guys
I'm not going on this big deployment that I'm like really fired up about and like going on soft war for like, you know
No reason at all. I'm not gonna be there. I'll be on mumble holding my dick in my hand impotently
So yeah, there you go
That's a question is if if you use a VPN to log in will that help like I don't know the answer that it might
Okay, um it like the
I'm when I said that I was thinking less of like, you know
setting up a VPN and more some of the the services that people use to get it like
You know region break Netflix and that kind of stuff where you can choose what?
Server you're originating from so like if you're having problems wherever you are
You can get a you can try a bunch of different locations
To see which of blowing up with people saying yes
You guys are like a bunch of like fucking IT experts in a way that you know again
Like I said, I have no idea how any of the shit were go while we're doing this
Please help each other out
Don't just be mad at CCP like if you have a trick or a tip or something some sort of a way around this to
Help our guys and hell at this point like I also want our bat
I want the bad guys to be able to log in to because I want to mash ship fleets together
So like if we can figure out ways that you know us and NC dot can have a slap fight in the middle of darknesses
You know awesome
At least I'm on fire today
Well, yeah, everybody's already fucking fired up. We want to we want to get some blood and screams and fire and destruction
And yeah again, this is an interesting war because it's not a hell or we're not really mad at any of the guys
We just want to blow some fucking shit up and we don't really like anybody on any of the sides up there
like we're not rushing up there to go defend sword dragon because they're probably gonna end up like losing Tino and we don't really
give a shit and
We certainly don't like NC dot and pan fam and like, you know
But at the same time we've stopped the shit out of them many times
We don't care if they take Tino from Guardians of the Gala like who gives a shit. Let's just kill these motherfuckers
I want to see battleship fleets. I want to see a fucking battles
I want to be looking at least one fucking typhoon related battle report where we either kill a bunch of motherfuckers
Or we lose a whole pile of typhoons every single goddamn day going forward for like the next month
so let's make that happen and
Enough fire and brimstone. Let's actually get to the typhoon fleet smashing. Nope. Sorry. What do you got? I have a real-time update here
In the in the last 15 minutes after we started talking about VPNs
There's a well-known VPN provider that I've heard about on a lot of podcast ads and had recommendations to me that I've never used
I went and signed up for an account. It is not free. It costs money US dollars
It costs $12 a month basically $13. I signed up for account. I installed their client. I connected
I rooted my location through London, England
I got this connected from mumble and Jabber then reconnected once established connection
I'll launch open up the launcher fired up 14 accounts
They all logged in instantly as if there's no DDoS and everything works perfectly
So folks in the US are having that problem
I'm gonna make a forum post showing just basic instructions to do exactly what I just did
Sweet thank you
Okay now so getting to the people logging in or murder conquest destruction devastation bit
I'm gonna shut up and stop talking about getting to that point and
Let the FCS now take things over what we're probably gonna do
Fireside's gonna be over. You're gonna see a bunch of deployment things Asher. Where are we going next?
Are we telling people to wait for pings? What are we doing? Yeah, we'll send out pinks
Uh, they need to be in the sick to get them
So, you know, I don't want to sit down on this unsecure channel mittens. This is a very
Fire sorry, this is a very secret very secret SIG and squad deployment, which is totally not an alliance deployment
It is a SIG and squad JIF deployment
Yes, yes
I think we're good. I think we're good to go
All right, guys. Thank you for coming. Look for the things if you don't see a ping immediately
There's like 900 fucking people here
So we got us in enough ways to coordinate and get people in fleets and going where they are in the middle of the fucking
DDoS this is gonna be messy. We're doing it. Anyway, help your buddies out. Don't be pissy with each other
Let's go fuck some shit up. Thanks for coming. Let's go to war