Fireside Chat Transcript 2 May 2k21
From Goon Wiki
Alright boys and girls, we're gonna get started here in a couple minutes. It's been an amusing start to our Sunday, I think. Coffee choice today, alright. Well, just FYI, for any coffee-related questions, sorry. I smoked a lot of wheat last night, I gotta clear my throat. If you hear me hacking stuff up, I apologize. Ooh! I'm sort of a reverse hipster when it comes to coffee. I have an AeroPress and I've designed it such that it takes about two minutes, three minutes total for me to get one cup of extremely strong coffee and I squish it out and then I drink it and call it a day. Okay, so I don't really know where to start. It's been a pretty good week. How's everybody feeling today about this last week worth of engagements against the Puppies? It's been pretty much action in every single time zone. Lots of activity. I mean, it seems mostly we see the asses of these motherfuckers as they're running away, but, you know, Villy says it's going to take between three and eight months to take 1DQ1 and if they want to bring this level of energy at us, I'm cool with it. Well, unfortunately I have some bad news, everyone, and I want everybody to brace themselves and take a deep breath for this. But it appears that in this last week when we have been fighting and you have been calling these pathetic cowards a bunch of pathetic cowards and saying mean things about them and God forbid making reference to the casino war and the fact that it appears without actually having their banned casino money, it seems that they are very, very, very angry with us and also at me. They're mad that we are holding them accountable for their bullshit. They are mad that we are attacking the people who are attacking us. And much to my surprise, because, you know, I'm old school, I'm a great war kind of guy, my first hell war was the great war, especially for all of you other old fucks like me, you know how it is, it appears that in the year of 2021, basic playground insults like calling a bunch of cowardly little bitches a bunch of cowardly little bitches is enough to make these cowardly little bitches cry for their mommies and daddies and beg to make the mean man stop saying fuck and shit and eat my ass. It appears that their delicate sensibilities, and particularly this is Gobbins, that Gobbins turns out to be one of the most thin-skinned motherfuckers. Elf boy has been trying to get my attention for a very long time now, and apparently now that elf boy has my attention, oh, he's shook. He's real mad. He might have people say mean things about me, and I'm sure you guys have never encountered that. So I just wanted to let you guys know the bad news, that Gobbins is very upset that we are punching back at him as he and his are punching at us, and I guess we should feel bad. Whatever. I can't even go with this fucking frame anymore. I was trying to make a whole "oh, bad news" thing about it, but it is pathetic to me that this generation of Eve leaders, the Villies and the Progods and the Gobbinses, I mean, actually, credit to Villy and Progod, they can at least give and take punches like Jesus Christ. This Gobbins shit is hilarious. These motherfuckers have spent 11 months trying to ruin everything that you have to burn down all of your space, and they want you to not be angry at them? They want you to just accept all of the things that they've been doing and say, "Oh, well, it's okay to be mad at Villy and Progod, but don't be mad at Horde." See, one of the reasons why we were holding back on shitting on these people from a great height is that because Gobbins is a wibbly little bitch, for a bit there it looked like there might be some sort of negotiation. There might be some sort of angle we could play there to try to split people off, but we don't need that anymore. We don't need that anymore because Legacy took—I mean, basically, the bad guys took too long. And we're going to go a little bit back from the Herf Blurf here, and we're going to talk a bit grand strategy here. Because the enemy spent so long in nosediving into the woodchipper here in Delve, that allowed us to burn down most of Legacy's stuff. Obviously, we haven't blown up their keepstars, and this was a lot of work that our allies have been doing, so credit to all of our allies and our mercenaries who are torching all that Legacy shit. And there are still our allies and our mercenaries out there doing that. Right now, there's a battle report that was linked earlier in Elysium from Siberian squads. Hanzo's a big fan of his guillotines, and they're out there murdering Evictus and torching the rest of Faithabolous, and so that is still in progress. But what you saw today, just before this fireside and why we had to delay the Kremlin meeting, is the strategic impact of the cowardice and the delay and the just the shirking, pathetic, beta male bullshit that you would expect from this gaggle of chuckle fucks that run piss-pee, is that because they took so long to invade us and burn us down, and our allies and our mercenary heroes were able to torch a shitload of Legacy space, Initiative, as was announced yesterday by Fountainfrank at the meta show, Initiative is now up in the drone regions, and it turned out that the reason why all of these bad guys got together just before that is that they were going to try to convince Init to jump clone back to Delve to help bail us out against their very, very serious, very important form-up where they reinforced two passes and then got chased out. Because we have been managing to fight these motherfuckers while Init has been burning down Legacy, while Siberian squads has been burning down Legacy, and we can fight these motherfuckers while Init is burning down the drone regions just fine. So one of the reasons why we are now open season on shitting on PanFam with whatever gusto we feel like is because they relied upon Vili and ProGod to do something, which is something that they should be shat on for in the first place, and now Init, our mercs, and our friends are just starting, just starting, I don't want to put too much pressure, too much expectation on the northern salient, but we are in a situation now where the enemy tried to prevent this attack in the north from happening by forming up just before the fireside and all that stuff. So fuck it, no more Mr. Nyskoon. These guys have spent 11 months or 10 months, whatever it is, saying anything that they want, attacking us, being as shitty as they possibly can, and yet they have the gall, they have this pathetic, thin-skinned entitlement. They feel entitled to your submission. They feel entitled to your submission. They attack us, they say all these things about us, and then when push comes to shove, when we punch back, these pathetic little bitches cry to a teacher that isn't there. And that's what they're going to find. There are consequences for making an enemy of the Imperium. There are consequences in EVE Online because this is one game, one tranquility, one server. They came at us, they told everybody in the game that they were going to exterminate Goonswarm and get the Imperium to quit because, again, cancer on EVE. You are bad people in the real world. God forbid you listen to me, that means you're really an awful person. Everything would just be better if Goonswarm and the Imperium was led by somebody nice like Gobbins. If only the Imperium was led by a civilized puppy like Gobbins. Then things would be different, then the puppies would be happy. But fuck puppies. And fuck what they want. I am wired in a particular way. When these people come at my people, I get angry upon my people's behalf. And I don't care if they think that I'm crazy. I don't care if they think that I'm a fucking psycho. I'm sort of disappointed in the quality of our enemies because back in the day, if I called Sir Mully a baby-backed bitch, he would just try to ruin my space empire. I didn't have a space empire at the time I was doing the Spy Guy thing, but you guys know what I'm talking about here. Back in the day, our foes were made of sterner stuff. And that is probably why they can't seem to handle a little bit of playground roughhousing and insults. And the reason why I'm talking about this, the reason I'm spending so much time talking about this, is because I am surprised and pleased by the level of weakness and shirking and anger and frustration that I am seeing now that we are taking the gloves off. I'm surprised it has happened so rapidly that this little nerd is quite so rattled as he is. So again, a reiteration of what we talked about last week. I want you to remember, one of the things that drives PanPham crazy, and Gobbins in particular, is any reference to the casino war. And the fact that these bitches apparently cannot manage to exterminate us or kick us out of our space if they don't have cheated casinoists to be able to finish the job. Gobbins hates that, and he should be reminded of it, as should all of these other motherfuckers, at every opportunity. Because fuck 'em. Fuck 'em. And if that makes them... I mean, what are they going to do? They're going to say I'm a terrible person? Ooh, I'm Space Hitler. They've said everything awful about me already, but I guess I'm supposed to be worried because, I don't know, whatever. I didn't expect them to be such bitches. I genuinely did not expect... a few name callings on a meta show or on a fireside would shake them. Would shake him this much. But, uh, I don't know. Dude looks like a Keebler elf. Fuck 'em. So let's talk shop. Let's put the Herf Blurf aside. I just want you to keep pounding on these bitches because, uh, apparently it's working, and if playground insults are enough to make Gobbins flip his shit this much, then the answer is more playground insults. And also, legitimately, legitimately, I believe I am right. I believed in the casino war that if it wasn't for the fact that those guys had a source of infinite unattackable isk, which was immediately banned by CCP once the war was over, I believe that even the entire galaxy would not be able to stand against the Imperium. Now maybe I can be accurately accused of being overconfident. Perhaps that's true. But I believe that you motherfuckers can stand up against the entire fucking galaxy at once if they didn't have isk cheats, and that appears thus far, however many months into this fucking war, that appears to be the case. That appears to be the case. So never let 'em forget it. Shove it down their fucking throats. Well, it's hard to shove it down their throats because they're always running away from you, back to T5ZI, so I guess shove it up their asses, but do whatever works. Apparently vulgarity bothers them because Eve is full of church-going, like, I, I, I, sorry, I ran out of insults there. I really am, am shocked that this has happened as rapidly as it has. These are some serious thin-skinned, thin, thin, thin-skinned bitches, so you guys know what to do. Get up in them guts. Okay, I wanna do some practical stuff here. So. Here is the strategic situation. We are going to hold these bitches here in Delve, we are going to shit down their throats, we are going to be defending our space as vigorously as we can. Meanwhile, our allies are burning down legacy remnants, and initiative has deployed up to the drone regions, which is hilarious, high-fives all around, extremely happy to see those guys at the tip of the sphere. We have a few different things that we need to do, just in terms of practical stuff. I wanna talk about the standing fleets. You guys have been seeing a lot of pings for standing fleets, and I wanna hurf a little bit about the importance of them. The reason why the standing fleets matter, and I really encourage people that are developing their F2 to get involved in these things, is that the enemy's attempts to harass us mainly involve random ships shooting our jammers, shooting other random things in our space, and the standing fleets are a way for us to have a immediate defense, because we don't want to send a whole all-ping when it's just some rando in an Astro or in a bomber that they could get cleared off easily enough. So do join the standing fleets if you are not on a main op or something like that, if you have alts that can volume that, it's a great way to learn some solo or small-gang PvP within the 1-to-Q-1 battle space, the whole constellation. Another point I wanna remind people is there's more to life than T5ZI in 1-to-Q-1. This is a big--I mean, it's not big, it's a very compressed constellation battle space, which is good for us because of density, which will flow into the next thing I'm gonna be talking about, which will be an NGSA pimp. While I am about to be pimping NGSA, if somebody can go ahead for me and please get the NGSA recruitment thread stuff that I always ask people to link. Thank you. Wonderful. So basically, we need people in standing fleets. If you are in scouts, if you are in one of these other organizations, don't forget that there's stuff outside of T5ZI in 1-to-Q-1, but if you're a scout, don't assume that you need to be anywhere besides T5ZI that somebody else will cover. We just need to have maximum coverage and all these things. We need people to be engaging with this because as you have seen this week, the enemy is again going to be relying upon the same strategies that they've used since the beginning, which is lots of flash forms. Like, hey guys, today was a great example of-- if you remember the early TCAG battles, which feels like it was three years ago, remember that the slap fights around the TCAG gate and period bases. We ended up in a situation where ProGod and crew would constantly be going, "Flash form, flash form, flash form." Well, we're seeing that same shit again. That's what they did just before the fire started. It didn't work. And yeah, but you need to be prepared for that. You need to look for their flash forms. And having an active and engaged standing fleet is going to really help with that. On top of that, when you see an ADM fleet, I want to encourage you to go on those. Now, ADM fleets are something that we haven't talked about in a while, but we're in a situation here where we're doing a very hard defense of a very small constellation battle space. And in those contexts, when you see a ping for an ADM fleet, that's because it's really needed. And it's needed close to home. It's not like we're going to be sending people out to Quarius or something like that to do an ADM fleet. So if you see a ping for the standing fleet and you have an ability to join, please do so. Develop your F2. Learn how to do some new things. If you see a ping for an ADM fleet, please join it, because it's one of our last core systems that we're defending like motherfuckers, and we need to make sure that everything is in ship shape. Another thing, and again, this is now going into the NGSA thing. We've had great success with NGSA. You guys can see the thread that's been linked here in Elysium. And one of the reasons for that is that because we have this very dense, constricted constellation battle space, as we are all posted up on the walls of Space Constantinople here in Alinda Q1, we are... hunting gets a lot easier. There's a higher population density of bad guys, and also they're making mistakes, especially now that they're starting to have to jump clone up north, and who knows what. So join NGSA. It means that if you are a scout, you can get plugged into an automated system that will link up your... you basically laser-designate a target, and it helps our FCs follow up on that and get some pretty good ganks. So please do join it. If you joined NGSA before, in an earlier phase in the war, or years ago or something like that, it wasn't working so well at certain phases in its existence because as it was too spread out, you didn't get that kind of target density and FC density that made it possible to put steel on target whenever it was necessary. Well, that's not a problem now. It's a fucking party time. I highly recommend people to get involved. I got a question last week about what was happening with the proto-squads, and I'm going to be able to answer that now. We're not going to be spinning up new proto-squads for another couple weeks, as the war obviously takes priority, but it does look like Fart and Humiliation Squad at least have shown some activity and are in existence. I don't want to set a bunch of expectations on them, but the fact that we managed to get 2 out of 3 still alive at this point is a positive thing, and we've learned a lot from that. So we are going to be going forward with the second founding squad's proto-squad's project. We call it internally the proto-squad's project. Externally we've been referring to it as the second founding. But we are going to take what we learned from that and boot that back up again in a few weeks when it looks like it will fit in with our war strategy. But Humiliation Squad and Fart Squad are in existence. God help us all. Alright, I want to go ahead and take some questions here. Other than Scream--oh, actually, there's something I wanted to show you. So let me get some questions here in chat while I go groping for this weird little YouTube video. I can't pick favorites as to which squad is the best squad, but I can say I will never reveal the Delta Squad secret. That you can rely on. Okay, so here's what I got. Let me check my notes. Perfect. So yesterday I saw--we were checking the screams of the puppies on Reddit. And this is completely random. Some guy took one of my 2013 speeches and turned it into a YouTube video that was actually way better than my 2013 speech. And he posted it on our eve. I guess the guy isn't an eve player because he refers to us as the goon swarm. And of course the puppies were extremely mad and downvoted to oblivion as they do because it involved me and it involved goon swarm. So I'm going to link you this thing. It's actually pretty interesting from a historical perspective. If you're looking at some 2013 and early goon swarm history of things we were doing with the GIA, which is now the Black Hand. And I thought it was pretty cool. It's 11 minutes of your time, so you don't have to watch it now or anything like that. You don't have to watch it if you don't feel like it. But it made the puppies mad, and then when I watched it with my girlfriend last night, it was kind of funny. It was like one of those weird moments when I have no idea who this dude is. And he was probably hoping to get my attention and get some traffic to his YouTube channel by doing a thing or whatever. But it was pretty good. So there you go. Take a look. Alright, let me take some questions here. Will French Squad join in at Up North? I'm not going to be speaking to... that would definitely be a future plans question. I'm not going to be speaking as to who is going where. As you guys know, French Connection did end up shutting down as an Imperium Alliance. And those corporations have been moving into Initiative and Goon Swarm primarily. And so those guys are still all with us, just under a different banner. NGSA needs more FCs and more coords. It takes a long time to get an FC and a coord to get a fleet up. Thanks for bringing that up, Martok. I will make a note of that on my text file here. And follow up with the dude in a loom. And see what we can do to make that easier. How are the finances of our enemies? You know, it's hard to tell exactly what the financial situation is. We get periodically a chance to see what that's like. Like when they try to do war bonds and our spies can get in there. I think that they're going to be having some challenges. I don't want to tell everybody that the bad guys are almost broke. Because they can try to do more rounds of war bonds and stuff like that. I will say that it doesn't really look good for them. I think that we're in a better position to be able to sustain than they are. I got some more information from our finance team before the fireside. That made me happy. So that's cool. Questions involving capital SRP post patch. That's a good question. So we spent a lot of time on this on the loom meeting last night. Whereby last night I mean yesterday afternoon. It wasn't night at all. But I smoked a lot of weed. Times of war. And we are working on that. I'm not sure whether it's going to be a hull reimbursement or a hull plus isk or whatever. The finance guys, the military guys are on it. I believe that everything that was lost in 3D the other day has been reimbursed. But I don't want to be wrong about that and sound like village. But it is something that we're obviously looking into. One of the things that you guys can see is that you get SRP really fucking fast here. Because we have a working organization. And we don't want anybody to be like freaked out. Like oh CCB changed something and now things are bad. But we got this. I do think that they have some supply issues. I think it's safe to say that a lot of people are encountering supply issues in the game. And you know you can have all the isk in the world. But if you can't buy a ferrox in T5ZI you can't buy a ferrox in T5ZI. And one of the things that has been interesting in seeing these big grindy scraps is I don't know one way or another how it's going to play out. But it does seem that periodically these guys, their supply lines leave a little bit to be desired. Anything on the ESSKs? They claim they can claim trillions off of it. No I got nothing on this. I got nothing on ESSKs. I got nothing on the enemy's claims that they can claim trillions of anything. You know it's kind of an interesting situation because if the bad guys are at a point where they can't handle being called some basic playground insults like cowardly little cheater bitches who relied upon banned casino money because you're just a pathetic onion skin coward loser that's taken way too long to You know I'm just saying mean things. This is just like wrestling stuff. I get up on the meta show and I beat my chest and act like an asshole. And if you're dealing with an actual adult or something they would just blow it off and not give a shit. But onion skin bitch is going to onion skin bitch. Please remind loyalty point hoarders that we need faction ammo. Thank you Jirai, that's a very good point. Are there plans on new doctrines? I don't have the skills for a lot of our mainline fleets and feel kind of useless outside of being Lodgy all the time. Well being Lodgy all the time is really fucking useful. Really fucking useful. We don't currently have any plans on new doctrines that we are discussing to publish at the moment. Like the status of the war and the way that we're fighting this thing. Baltics rocks, battleships, battleships, battleships. Lodgy, Lodgy, Lodgy, stockpiles, stockpiles, stockpiles. The tools that we currently have in our toolkit are working pretty well. That may change, I don't want to say that we're not going to be changing our doctrines forever because we always will pivot and move around based around what appears to be optimal play. But currently we are satisfied with our doctrines. And for anybody, like, in that situation, Lodgy is incredibly useful. Vigils, just newbies in Vigils are incredibly useful. For God's sakes, please, please, please, do not devalue your contribution. Don't for an instant think that you're not contributing by "just" being a Lodgy. If you're out there all the time being a Lodgy, you're a fucking hero. If you're out all the time in a Vigil, you're a fucking hero. If you're out there fighting, if you are working to defeat our foes, if you are working to defend your brothers and sisters in the trenches here in Delve, fighting against the entire fucking galaxy, cowardly little thin-skinned bitches, though they may be, you are a fucking hero. You should walk with some fucking pride. You own that. You are standing up to the rest of fucking NullSec. And they have proven themselves to be the kind of people that need to be stood up to. Someone has to stand up to the onion-skinned gobbinses of the world, to the progods, to the villies, to these fucking people who want to be able to kick you down and treat you like whatever the fuck they feel like. And then onion-skinned, pearl-clutching, fainting-count little bitches crying about being called bitches. People call me awful things all the time. It doesn't bother me. I don't understand how these people got into the Autocrat chairs. How the fuck do you end up leading an alliance if you can't handle shit like that? So when you get into a Lodgy, when you get into a Vigil, when you're out there fighting these motherfuckers, you're not just shooting PissBee. You're standing up for a NullSec where people can actually be free. And, you know, it's kind of weird because, look, we are the most powerful entity in the game, right? The entire galaxy has come after us because of that and a variety of other reasons. But what they want is to be--they actually want and they actually are this blue donut they have created or are attempting to create by crushing you, by getting you to give up, by getting you to think that you're not doing the correct and noble thing. They are trying to crush your spirit such that they can remain blue forever and bot up a fucking storm. While Pappy is doing their thing here, they have created an environment where just look at the fucking M.E.R. Look what Fraternity is doing in peace. And these guys have said that they want to stay blue for eight months. Why is that? Because they're running a botting empire or they're at least covering for a botting empire. These people must be stood up against and that is what we are doing. So when you're out there in a Lodgy, when you're out there in a Vigil, when you are doing anything to contribute to the defeat of these piss-pee cowards, hold your head high. All right. That's enough for today. We will be getting together next week. Keep killing these motherfuckers. Never let them forget it. Now get back out there. There's work to do.